Book 1 Dream Job
by crazychic111
Summary: Ash's life is about to change when she gets offered the most insane job ever...helping Zim. Rated T for bad language and some other stuff I didn't think of. This is my first story so be nice!
1. Hey! Get Out of My House!

**This story is about a 16 year old girl named Ash. She escapes from her universe and into the Zim/Johnny universe, were going to pretend that they live in the same one, OK? She is physically abused by her mother and is desperate to leave. Oh and one more thing that I think I should mention, she has inhuman powers. READ ON! (Please)**

**Me: Yeah! My first story!**

**Sam (cousin): Why do people waste their time on this site? Invader Zim is dumb…oh yah…WHY AM I HERE?**

**Me: Because I forced you to be here and the only thing DUMB here is your face…and your new haircut.**

**Sam: yes…yes they are. **

**Me: Will you have the honor of doing the disclaimer?**

**Sam: …no**

**Me: you jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, Except for Ash, her momma, and Sam.**

**Sam: You do not own me! Um…please read on while my cousin and I fight some more.**

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Hey! Get Out of My House!_**

_I have locked myself in my room once again. Today's reason is because mom's latest boyfriend broke up with her because he **finally **found out that she was cheating on him with two other guys, like it wasn't obvious enough, I had to call him and tell him that, also begging him not tell my mom who had told him this "horrible" news. I know it' s bad to be messing with my moms life and ruining it, but the day she went insane with beating me and the living only to give me pain, I warned her that I would ruin her life, an I always keep my promises. I also forgot to bring food, stupid move. Now all I have is my JtHM books and my Ipod touch with all the Invader Zim episodes...entertaining, but I can't eat that. Also I gave up on my friends, they were loyal but nobody said I had to be. It's easier, without friends, but I still have Sam, my only cousin, who could care less about Zim and Johnny… that makes everything better. It's not like they were my REAL friends anyway, they would claim they know me like the back of there hand, when really...they know nothing. Sometimes I just want to die, but the thing is I don't want to kill myself, I don't know if it is because I'm weak, or if I'm strong enough not to. Even though I was gifted with...inhuman powers when I was born, life is still hard, and it's really hard when no one is allowed to know about them. I can run away...but someone would catch me and bring me back. I just realized something...when I write, it always comes out really depressing...mostly because it is..._

I closed my DIE-ary, yes I had one, I had bought it online, and it was supposed to be like Johnny's. Now, maybe I should explain my "inhuman" powers. When I sense something, from people to natural disasters to well, anything that can affect my life in the near future, my eyes will turn from a gray to a deep, blood, red. I will automatically know what "it" is and what to do about it...yeah...I know weird but is has saved my life more than once. One more thing, when I get angry, my eyes will turn the same red. I can become so scary and destructive, that even the most deadly living thing should cower in fear, luckily, I have learned to control myself...somewhat.

It's 10:00pm. **_I wonder if mom left..._**I slowly peeked out of my door, no one was there. As I crept down the hallway, I saw that the lights were out, which means no mom. I grabbed a water bottle, chips, candy, and some juice. Just as I was ready to rush back in, but my eyes flashed red and I heard the doorknob jiggle. I ran as fast as I could to my room, and slipped in while locking the door. **_That was way to close. _**I placed my food on my dresser and lied down on my bed thinking about what would have happened if I was caught. I was expecting to hear my mom come up the hallway to go into her room, but instead I heard two men's voices.

"Look at all this stuff! I told you this was a good house to hit.", said the first man.

"Whatever, just...take all of the gold jewelry and get into the van.", replied the second man.

They were in my mom's room, like a regular person, I got scared, but then again it was just my _mom's _stuff. I would just wait these losers out. My door handle jiggled. **_These guys were NOT trying to get into MY room, where MY stuff was. _**My eyes started to glow red, half because I was mad and half because I was in some sort of danger. My lights were of, and all those guys would see...are my glowing red eyes. I hid in my closet, I could tell that they didn't have any weapons so I was going to give them a little treat.

"Hey...the door won't open", the first man said.

"Must have locked it before they left, hold on.", answered the second man.

Then the man kicked the door down and switched on the lights. When they walked inside and turned around, I sneaked out of the closet and slammed my door shut. Both men jumped.

"Oh, it's just a girl." The second man said, "Hey sweetie, if you keep quiet we won't hurt you. Got it?"

"Hi.", I said, like they were old friends.

"Um...hi, listen I am going to take these things soooo...yeah.", said the first man.

"You idiot!", the second man said to the first, "listen doll, we have weapons, big and scary weapons, so I would just sit there and stay put."

"You don't have any weapons.", I stated coldly.

"Yep.", said the first man. Of course, the second man slapped him.

"What he means is...that our weapons wont kill you...um...just...", the second man started to say.

"Shut-up!", I snapped, "I know you don't have any damn weapons so just shut-up and stop trying to lie, 'cause it's not working YOU GOT THAT!"

Both men were silent.

"Listen to me, I will rip you open, scoop out your insides, light you on fire, then eat you, and I bet you will taste awesome.", I said, on the inside I was totally disgusted about the eating you part, but I will do anything to see them jump. When they looked up in horror, they saw my eyes, deep red and heartless.

"OH MY GOD...I...it's...it's...A SHE-DEVIL!", the first man exclaimed, "I told you this was a bad house to hit! You never listen to me!" I took this to my advantage.

"Yes I am, and we "she-devils" eat humans, so I would sit tight while I call the police...unless you want me to eat you.", I said, trying to hold in my laughter. I called 911. They came, and by then those two men were practically crying. I had calmed myself down before the police came so they won't think I'm a..."she-devil" either. As the police came and went, one guy asked me a question,

"So, how did you manage to scare these guys, there talking about...something called a...she devil...", the guy asked

"I guess I was a little to harsh on them, don't worry, I'll go easy on the next person that robs my house.", I calmly stated. I pushed all of them out of the door. I went to bed, thinking everything will go back to normal, but I had no idea what was going to happen the next day.

* * *

**Well that was a VERY short chapter, but I promise that the next one will be longer!**


	2. OK! I Get It! Your Not God!

**Sam: Why do you feel the NEED to force me to come here? WHY!**

**Me: Two reasons, 1. I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE! and 2. Maybe...just maybe you will start to like Zim and Johnny.**

**Sam: Whatever, you just keep on thinking that.**

**Me:...**

**Sam: Yes, that's right NOTHING FROM YOU!**

**Me: *shoves Sam into a closet* Remember I'm older than you so you must be nice... and obey me...OBEY ME!**

**Sam: Your only older than me by 3 MONTHS!**

**Me: Yes, and what a wonderful 3 months it was...**

**Sam: ! Yeah and... wait what are you trying to say?**

**Me: Wow look at the time I have to do the disclaimer,**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything (duh, nobody on this site owns anything!)**

**Oh, and a big thanks to Micah the Homicidal Maniac and Bladion13 for giving me my first reviews! Ash will also be in Micah the Homicidal Maniac's story "Feild Trip"...so read it!**

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

_**OK! I Get It! Your Not God!**_

Today is Friday...another horrible day at school.

"Hi, so I was wondering...", a random boy started to say to me.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO JUMP OF A CLIFF! Oh and...MAKE SURE TO COME BACK DEAD!", I screamed.

Every day it's the same thing with these boys, they can't just take a hint, so I make sure to remind them REALLY loudly. It's not like I'm not ready to have a boyfriend...it's just the boys in this school are...well...douche bags. Yep the truth hurts.

"Um, I, a, well", the boy stammered then ran of.

**_Hmmm, maybe I was to hard on this one..._ *_RING*_**that was the 5 minuet bell **_I had_** _**only 5 minuets to get to my locker and to class! Ug****hh that loser is going to make me late! **_I quickly opened up my locker, grabbed my stuff, and ran to class, just as the late bell rung.

"OK class, take out you textbooks and turn to page...", the teacher said.

* * *

AFTER SCHOOL

As I was walking out of the school doors I heard a strange noise. **_I must be hearing things. _**But then I heard it again. **_What the...? _**As I made my way to the weird noise, that same boy that bugged me in the morning came up to me again, except this time, with friends. The poor boy looked terrified.

"Um...hi, again.", he squeaked, then a tuff looking boy behind him gave him a nudge and snickered , "would you like to go out with me?" The boy flinched, waiting for my reaction, I was going to scare the life out of this kid again when I noticed that his friends were also waiting there, just waiting to see what I would do. **_Oh I see, this is a game to them, let the pretty girl scare the life out of there "friend" while they sit and laugh. _**I calmly walked up to the tuff looking boy.

"Yeah, what do you want?", he said.

"This.", I replied, then I kicked him were no guy should be kicked. I proudly walked away, forgetting about that strange noise.

* * *

As I reached my house, I unlocked the door. I quietly walked inside, checking around to see if my mom was home...she wasn't. I quickly ran up to my room and locked the door. My eyes flashed red as I turned around, and screamed. There, floating in the middle of my room was...a ball of light. I walked up to it, and reached my hand out.

"Don't. Touch. Me. You have no idea were I could have been...", it said.

"...Are you...GOD!", I asked.

" NO! NO I AM NOT GOD! EVERY TIME I DECIDE TO GRANT SOMEONE A GIFT THEY THINK I AM GOD! WELL I'M NOT, OK? I'M JUST NOT!", it screamed.

"...Uh...Well...whats...your name...?", I asked.

"Well I don't really have a name, _they _never gave me one.", it said, "but you can call me Magic Awesome Ball Of Light, or M.A.B.O.L for short."

"OK...Mabol...who's _they?_", I questioned.

"THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT. What is important is the gift I'm going to give you, so shut up and listen.", Mabol commanded.

**_Yep, this guy is sure not God..._**

"I was looking over my profiles when I happened to stumble across your name, your records are very impressive, it says that you have powers of some sort...yes very nice...and you also suffer from parental abuse, so I thought to myself...why not give something to this young lady, AND I DID.", Mabol said.

"So...what is it?" I asked

"Well, like I said before, I was looking over your records and I saw that you liked the television show..._Invader Zim _and the comic Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, yeah I like JtHM too, HE IS AWESOME! So how would you like it if I offered you a job...because well, This gift comes with a price, I will send you to the IZ and JtHM universe if you promise to help Zim.", Mabol said.

"That's amazing! But what should I help Zim with...taking over the world?", I replied

"Naw, that would be awkward, trying to take over your own planet... um lets see...", Mabol said

"You didn't think it though?", I wondered

"WAIT! I'VE GOT IT!", Mabol shouted," Well...have you ever heard about the Invader Zim finally? Yeah, I think it's called Invader Dib...or whatever...ANYWAY, in it, Invader Tenn is suppose to be captured, and a war brakes out. The Tallest are suppose to be revealed as phonies for wearing extended arms and legs, to make themselves look taller...and Dib might take over...or those were the ideas. Are you following along?

I nodded my head, I already knew this, what was this...ball of light...thing...getting to?

"OK then, you have to make sure that none of that happens. So basically, the Tallest will stay the Tallest, Dib will stay a...somewhat normal boy, Zim will still try to take over the world, and those cute little bunnies will hop around like bunnies should...", Mabol explained

_**What's up with the bunnies...?**_

"That's kinda understandable...I guess. What does this have to do with Johnny?", I questioned

"Nothing really, I guess you can just hang out with him...help him paint the blood wall, GET DEVI TO FORGIVE HIM ALREADY.", Mabol answered

"Um, what period of time am I going to be in? Like when Johnny meets Squee? Or when Tak comes to kill Zim? Or...", I tryed to finish

"How about you be quiet so I can think...YES I"VE GOT IT! When Zim first lands on Earth, oh and Johnny...well his adventures will be done by then...so...yeah...", Mabol said

"NO! I want to meet the D-Boys...and...see him die...and...FALL IN LOVE WITH DEVI, later to be unconscious...but...", I protested

"Don't be pickey! Now pack your things so I can get this over with.", Mabol said

* * *

After I finished packing my stuff I looked around my room. It was basically empty, I took everything except the bed, dresser, and the four walls. I was about to grab my cell phone when Mabol stopped me.

"You wont be needing that, here's phone watch, now you will be able to communicate with people in the Zim...and Johnny universe.", Mabol said

"So how exactly do I get there?", I asked

"Like this",...

Suddenly, everything blacked out. When I finally woke up, I found myself standing in front of Zim's base, lights were flashing, horns were honking, and people were staring. **_Zim has made a beautiful entrance...not. _**I walked up to Zim's door, dragging all of my stuff, and knocked. Suddenly I heard a _"WHO DARES TO BOTHER THE ALMIGHTY ZIM?" _The door opened, with a green "boy" standing there, looking pissed. Before Zim could say anything I dragged all of my stuff inside and stood in the middle of...what was suppose to be the living room.

"Hey! Get out of my normal boy home!", Zim shouted

"Um...no. Listen, I am from a different universe and...", I started to say.

"Like from a different planet? Strange, you look human. COMPUTER, scan the female.", commanded Zim.

"NO, I SAID UNIVERSE NOT PLANET. I'm from another...universal version...yeah those are the words...of Earth.", I said, "I, um, I was sent here to prevent something from happening OK? So basically, I know your future, up to a certain point, and I also know your past. And I have to live with you...so hi!"

"...YOU LIE! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE MIGHTY IRKEN RACE. LIES!", Zim said as he clawed the air.

"OK were do I start...you Irkens want to take over the whole universe 'cause your idiots...oh! I mean...nope thats what I ment. Currently, you have two tallest, Red and Purple. I know a HORRIBLE secret about them...", I said.

Then, I went on explaining, without telling him any parts of the future, any secrets he wasn't supposed to know, and one more simple thing...that he was absolutely NOT a cartoon.

"...Fine...you can stay, it will give me a better chance to observe humans from up close anyway. Gir! Help the human...with her human stuff.", Zim said.

"Um, Zim I need a room, with a bed, and a bathroom...and the bed has to have sheets and a pillow, the bathroom...", I didn't get to finish

"Computer, scan the humans brain and make the room, I need to find a place were I can learn more about the humans.", Zim said as he made his way down the...garbage can.

"Um, computer...doesn't he want to know my name?", I asked

"Eh...step into the toilet so I can scan your brain.", computer replied

I carefully stepped into the toilet and looked around. It was like an elevator. It started moving, I was surprisingly calm, I knew I would be, but I knew when I would meet Johnny I would have a "fangirl" moment. Suddenly the elevator stopped, I got out.

"Stand on this.", computer said, as a robot claw pointed to a little circle on the floor.

I stood, then all I saw is purple. When My vision came back I stumbled a little.

"OK, your room and bathroom are in the attic...which I guess is your room now. Your room will always be 70 degrees. It has a bed, closet, and bathroom.", said computer

"That's great, but how do I get there?", I asked

"Press the first button in the toilet elevator. Oh and I suggest learning how to read and write in Irken.", the computer responded

"Way ahead of ya, when I started started studying _*cough cough obsessing*_Invader Zim, I learned to understand Irken writing.

And before computer could ask me how I could possibly study that, I made my way up to my room, and fell into bed.

* * *

**Yeah! My second chapter! Common people REVIEW! Oh and just to let you know, Ash loves music, so if you find her singing, don't find it weird! Thanks for reading! Next she's going to meet Dib, and prove to him that she is not an alien. Ash is also going to meet Johnny and have a "fangirl moment"!...Well I'd better go take Sam out of the closet now...or not...**


	3. I AM NOT AN ALIEN!

_**Me: Guess what everyone? Today our friend Ash is going to meet Dib and Johnny! I was going to put Jimmy in this chapter but I didn't feel like throwing up today...so I will replace him with Squee and the Tallest!**_

_**Sam: So when exactly am I going to come in?**_

**_Me:...Well, either in chapter 4 or 5... whenever I feel like RUINING my story ;), naw I'm just kidding._**

**_Sam:...I'm going to make some toast..._**

**_Me: Oh! One more thing, Ash is going to sing! I suggest listining to the song after...it's a good one :)_**

**_Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Jhonen Vasquez except for the song "Imagine" a by John Lennon, Glee verson_**

**_Sam: WHO PUT RABID WEASLES NEXT TO THE BREAD!_**

**_Me:I should go help him...but I won't...I'm a mean person. :)_**

* * *

_**Chapter 3**_

_**I AM NOT AN ALIEN**_

I woke up the next morning, and for a second, I forgot were I was. I looked around, remembering. There were four simple walls, a closet, a dresser, and my bed, but the room was surprisingly big. The walls were a dark pink and a darker pink, like Zim's Voot Cruiser. When I looked up, I saw a huge, Irken symbol on the ceiling. In the corner were all of my bags. _**Hopefully today I will meet Dib and Johnny.**_ I smiled to myself.

"Computer, what time is it?", I asked

"9:30...If you want to know were Zim is, he's at skool.", the computer replied

"Thanks", I said

I jumped out of bed and unpacked everything. I looked at my watch, 10:47. To my right was another door, I opened it, it was the bathroom. There, was a sink, a toilet, and a shower. I opened the draw and found a toothbrush and toothpaste, a hairbrush, and a little medical kit. After brushing my teeth and taking a good shower and getting dressed, it was 11:15. I stepped out of my room in search for breakfast. I has already decided that I was going to meet Dib first, then Johnny.

"Computer, can I have waffles or something.", I asked

"Whatever", computer sighed and a robot arm came down and handed me a plate of waffles.

Then as reached the main part of the base, the house, I saw Gir. Sadly he saw my waffles and jumped on me.

"Hi waffle lady!", Gir screamed. I reluctantly let him have my waffles.

"Hi Gir, my name is Ash.", I said, ignoring the fact that I was still on the floor.

I got up and dusted myself of. _**I guess I'm skipping breakfast**_. What I needed to do was get directions to Johnny's house, I didn't need to know where Dib lives because he would be chasing Zim here after school. But then I had an idea.

"Computer, can I please talk to the tallest?", I asked

"Knock yourself out", sighed the computer, as that creepy monkey picture faded away to a screan.

**Tallest pov**

"Incoming call from Earth.", said one of the pilots of the massive.

"No...", moaned the Tallest.

Ever since Zim had called that dreadfull night the Tallest had been very upset, so upset even, that Purple hadn't shoved one doughnut in his mouth since that call. As the screen flashed and the picture came to view, instead of seeing the little green alien that they all hate, they saw a teenage girl.

"I fucking hate you.", The girl growled, in the background, the computer was trying to hold in his laughter.

"Uhhh...I hate you too?", answered purple. Red nudged him and said, "Who..._what_ are you, and where is Zim?"

"He'll be back, now listen, I am human, my name is Ash, and I know a horrible secret about you, so if you don't wan't it to get out, I suggest not making me mad.", The scary teen said as her eyes flashed red.

The Tallest whimperd for a moment, but then quickly relaxed, "You don't know anything, Zim says that humans are not very smart.", then Red added in, "and your eyes were just red...can all humans so that?"

"No, all humans can not do that, just me. When I get angry, or when I sense something dangurous, my eyes flash red. Also your not really tall, your wearing extended arms and legs.", Ash pointed out.

"...wha...How!...", the Tallest stamard.

"I know everything, I am from a different universe, now you will do as I say _forever_ unless you don't wan't to be the Tallest any more.", Ash said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Wait, so your not from Earth? But you just said you were human.", said Purple like she had just NOT blackmailed him.

"Another version of Earth, OK? Now if you see me with Zim, because I'm living with him, pretend this did not happen.", Ash said and cut the transmission.

"I think I need to be alone now", Purple shuddered, as he walked away, leaving Red to stare at the blank screen with his mouth open.

**Ash Pov**

As soon as I turned of the screen, me and computer burst out laughing. After our little laugh attack was over I remembered what I was going to do.

"Computer, I need directions to someones house, his name is Johnny C. and...um...he likes to kill people."

"PROCESSING!", computer shouted, and a picture of Johnny's house popped onto the screen.

"Yep thats the one.", I said, as a robot claw handed me step-by-step directions to his house.

**Dib Pov**

_**An alien! Right in my own classroom! I'm going to follow him after school and use my Crop Circles handcuffs on him! Then I'll hand him to the FBI and...**__RING!_ Dib's thoughts were interrupted by the bell. He smiled quietly as he followed Zim out of the school doors.

**Ash Pov**

It wasn't long before it was 3:00, I knew Dib and Zim should be coming home any second. Just then Zim quickly ran through the door.

"...You can't hide forever, and if you can I'll wait forever! I've been preparing for this all my life!...OK, I'm going to go home now and prepare some more, but I'll be back and...", I didn't let Dib finish.

I ran outside and shouted "HEY". Dib looked startled.

"You...you just came out of the aliens house!", he said

"Yeah, I've realized that, my names Ash.", I said

Dib just stared at me.

"I'm from a different universe and...", I didn't get to finish.

"ANOTHER ALIEN, WOW!", Dib shouted

"NO NO NO NO NO! I AM FROM A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE, NOT PLANET! JUST A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE, I'M STILL FROM EARTH, JUST A DIFFERENT VERSION!", I shouted back

"But...but you came out of the ALIENS house.", Dib protested.

"Yes, I was sent here to prevent in the future from happening. So yes, that does mean I know the future but only until a certain point. I needed somewhere to live and Zim's house would be the easiest for me. But I'm not going to help him destroy the Earth. I also know most of yours, Gaz's and Zim's past. Oh, and I am very clangorous so don't get me mad. Now, I have somewhere very important to be, so...BYE!", and I rushed of to Johnny's house.

* * *

To get there, I had to go across town. I had no idea how long it would take. I was so exited, I could barley see where I was going, and bumped into someone. The girl had blonde hair, way to much make-up, and "best" of all a _cheerleader outfit. _She was with two other girls.

"Hey! Don't touch me. It takes a lot to get results like this in the morning.", the girls laughed as they walked away.

I turned around to say something, possibly hurt her to some extent. But then I saw a store being robbed. As the guy ran out, police on his tail, he tripped and the police caught him. As I looked around some kid was being beat up by 3 older boys, then a man came, stopped to watch, then kept on going. I was just going to help the boy when I heard one of them saying,

"Thats for punching my sister!", then the 3 boys walked away, and I decided not to get involved.

"Hey sexy!", some random boy called to me, and that was it. I had enough, I thought this place would be better, the only difference here is that I was motherless (which in my case was a good thing). My eyes flashed red, I looked up, ready to scream, when I saw Taco Smell, I was getting close. I calmed myself down and took out my Ipod, and put it on shuffle, ready to sing any song that came on. And then the perfect song came on _Imagine_, Glee version. Almost all of my songs were glee songs, I closed my eyes for a moment and began to sing,

_Imagine there's no countries,  
__It isn't hard to do  
Nothing to kill or die for  
And no religion too  
Imagine all the people  
__Living life in peace_

_ You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope some day you'll join us  
And the world will live as one_

_Imagine no possessions  
I wonder if you can  
No need for greed or hunger  
__a brotherhood of man  
Imagine all the people  
Sharing all the world_

By this time I had realized people were staring, but I didn't care, and kept on walking.

_ You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope some day you'll join us  
And the world will live as one_

_ Imagine there's no countries,  
It isn't hard to do  
__Nothing to kill or die for  
And no religion too  
Imagine all the people  
__Living life in peace_

By this time, I saw that I was coming up to the 24/7,

_You, You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope some day you'll join us  
And the world will live as one_

Suddenly, the door to the 24/7 swung open and a man walked out, bumping right into me, my Johnny-directions flew out of my hand and we both fell to the ground. My hand flew to my head, it was throbbing. I opened my eyes but my vision was blurry. I saw a tall man stand up and reach out his hand.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you coming out and,", I grabbed his hand and stood up, but then I saw who it was,"J-J-Johnny...?"

"Uh, yeah...but you can call me Nny, how do you know my name? Oh and you dropped this", Said Johnny, sadly he looked at the paper before I could take it.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE DIRECTIONS TO MY HOUSE? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF STALKER?", he shouted

"No! No, please don't think that let me explain!", I rushed "I'm from a different universe and I was sent here to stop something from happening in the future. I live with an alien. I know his and a big headed boy's future. I also know your past. I asked Zim's, thats the alien, computer where your house is because I'm a really big fan. 'Cause in my universe we just know stuff and thats all I can tell you! Please don't chop me up and make me suffer in your basement!" After all of that I was breathing heavily and waiting for a response.

"You want a BrainFreezy?", asked Nny

I nodded my head eagerly and said, "so, does this mean were friends?"

"Why not?", Nny shrugged.

**At Nny's House**

I was so exited. I memorized every step we took to get to Nny's house.

"So, now what are we going to do? Can we go find someone to torture? No wait! Lets go kill everyone at that dance club! Oh! Can I meet Squee? Please!", There were so many things I wanted to do with Nny, I could hardly name them all. Nny thought for a moment and looked down at my eager face.

"Alright lets go meet Squee, it'll give me a chance to get that _horrible bear._", shuddered Nny

I shrieked with delight as I followed him outside.

**Spiderman's Pov (naw just kidding)**

**Squee's Pov**

"What's that Shmee? Did you hear that?", the frightened boy asked his bear.

Poor Todd, he hid under his blankets as he heard his window being pushed open.

"Squee? Oh Squee, where are you?", called the scary neighbor man.

"There you are Squee!"

Suddenly, Squee felt the blanket being ripped off. When he looked up he saw the scary neighbor man and a not-so-scary teenage girl. The girl ran up to him and scooped him up.

"Aw! Look at him! He's even cuter in person! Like a baby!, the teen cooed, Todd giggled "My name's Ash, I already know yours, it's Todd, but Nny calls you Squee, so I will too."

Ash put Squee back in bed and covered him back him up.

"Listen, I'm from another universe, I lived in a different version of earth, so I'm not an alien. In that universe a lot of people just know things, that's all I can tell you. I know that you have problems with nightmares, and I think I know a way I can help you. You see, I also have nightmare problems. A good way to not be so afraid, is to first, know that your only dreaming, and that it's not real. Now, it's not as easy as it sounds, you've really got to try hard. Next, you must make the bad things see that your not scared, even though you might be scared on the inside. And if that does not work, kill yourself, because if your dead, the dream can't continue, and you will wake up, that takes a lot of courage, so try hard.", Ash advised.

Then Ash, and the scary neighbor man went back out of the window. And for once, in a long time, Squee wasn't afraid.

_Dear DIE-ary,  
Today I made friends with Dib, Johnny, and Squee. I blackmailed the Tallest and hopefully soon, I will make them very afraid of me. I talked to people today that I never dreamed of talking to. My life is going to be better, and my entries in this DIE-ary wont be so depressing. Thanks Mabol._

* * *

**Hey everyone, Sam had to go to the hospital from those rabid weasels...so I'll be ending this chapter alone. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoyed, next chapter is when the book will start being based on most of the shows, except Ash is in it and she drags Nny on her "adventures". I wont be doing some of the episodes like "Zim Eats Waffles" or "Game Slave 2" and a few more because I wanted to do some of the other unaired episodes also. Oh! Another thing, if you have any questions, ask them, because I will be answering them HERE! REVIEW PEOPLE!**


	4. Cheerleaders, Roboparents, and Sam

**Sam-Oh yeah! I'm in this chapter!**

**Me-Stop yelling I'm right here.**

**Sam-I am so awesome.**

**Me-I just curse you out and you call me a LIAR!**

**Me-Your such a...a escargot!**

**Sam-What?**

**Me-You know, the snail thingy they eat in France?**

**Sam-...I have to use the bathroom...**

**Me-*waits awhile until Sam comes back***

**Sam-My mission is complete.**

**Me-Please...just...just shut up.**

**Sam-Wanna play Nazi Zombies?**

**Me-...hold on.**

**Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING...well not really...**

**Me-EAT MY KNIFE ZOMBIE!**

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Cheerleaders, RoboParents, and Sam**_

I came into the kitchen with a huge headache. That Keef kid was such a gay little bas…

"ASH!", Zim yelled, "I gave all the kids their organs back."

I sighed and walked into the living room and heard Dib mooing, "Zim, I said all of the kids, that means Dib too."

"You cannot command me! I am Zim!", Dib mooed in disagreement. I gave Zim a death glare.

"…But I will do it…because…I COMMAND MYSELF!, he shouted as Dib got his voice back.

Breathing heavily, Dib got a few words out, "Thanks Ash…I'll get…you…alien scum.", and he stumbled out the door and Nny walked in.

"Hey, the cow kid got his voice back.", he pointed out, I forgot about my head and he continued, "I was going to hit Taco Smell, want to come?"

"Yeah! See you after school Zim! Bye Gir, bye computer!", I yelled as I followed Nny out. "Gosh, it feels like I have to baby sit him, wait, you know he's an alien right?

"Lets see, no ears, green skin, calls people _filthy humans, _yep I'm pretty sure I do.", he said

I smirked as we made our way to Taco Smell. In the corner of my eye I saw a blonde cheerleader and some friends that looked strangely familiar.

"Look Adrianna! It's that girl that bumped into you before! She's so clueless!", she giggled, Nny looked down at my face then at the girl. They could talk about me all they wanted, I could care less, "Your right Chrissy and, like, look at that creepy guy she's with!"

I froze, those horrible _cheerleaders _dared to talk about Nny that way? MY hero? MY friend! I could feel anger taking over my body, my hands ball up into fists, my eye twitching. Nny looked down at me again and was slightly surprised how I reacted, that, and also how my eyes turned from a gray to a bloody red. I whipped around and gave those girls a death stare.

"Oh Adrianna, _somebodies _mad!", laughed one of the girls.

I walked up to them and stopped in front of the one that was supposedly Adrianna. I didn't say anything to them, I couldn't speak, all I saw was red. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this mad, or when I lost control. I took her face and smashed it into a building. Her face was bloody and her nose was clearly broken. She was crying, and I laughed at her pain. I turned around and saw Nny, smiling, he handed my a knife, I gladly took it. I jammed the knife in her throat. Her shrill screams suddenly stopped, and when my eyes returned to normal, and I realized what I had done, I ran into the nearest building's bathroom. I closed the door behind me and looked up at the mirror. My hair hung at my shoulders. The dark, brown hair was wet with blood. The lighter brown highlights were now red. I pushed my side bangs away from my right eye and looked down. My pink belly-shirt was now burgundy. My leather jacket, ruined. My jeans shorts looked brownish. I looked behind me, bloody footprints were coming from my sandals. And for some reason, I felt...good? No, happy...happy that she was dead, and she won't be able to talk about Nny again. I walked out and saw Nny waiting for me.

"I can't believe that I wasted my first kill on a cheerleader."

We ended up not going to Taco Smell, mostly because I brought attention by walking around all bloody.

I went back to Zim's house and cleaned up. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch, ready to relax, when the doorbell rang. I was about to go and get it when robodad came out of the closet, he opened the door and said "Welcome home son!" to a lady selling makeup.

Just the robomom came and shouted a "That's me, house lady! Brush your teeth!"

I couldn't hear what that makeup lady said, but robomom tackled the lady and started brushing her teeth! I was on the floor laughing. The lady somehow got away and Gir started chasing her. Zim walked in. Robodad slammed into the wall and robomom poured flour on Zim's head. I couldn't stop laughing.

Zim glared at me and said angrily, "In a few hours I have to go to a parent teacher _thing_, the parent decoys aren't ready for that!"

I was still giggling as Zim and Gir made their way downstairs. I had to get Nny, the next few hours was going to be funny.

* * *

"Remind me why you are dragging me to your alien friend's skool?", asked Nny

"Because, it's parent teacher night, and somthing funny is gonna happen.", I answered and kept on walking.

"How do you know?"

I stopped.

"NNY!"

Nny jumped back, surprised at my outburst.

"I told you! Like...when we first met! I know the future! I'm from a different universe! Don't you remember?", I half screamed

"Oh yeah...but you were talking really fast, and I was more concerned about how you had those directions to my house. What about your eyes...when that cheerleader got you angry?", asked Nny.

"When I was born with these powers, kinda like how you have Head Explodey. When I'm angry my eyes turn red and a get very deadly. My eyes also turn red when I sense something dangerous.", I sighed

We kept on walking until we reached the school. I saw Dib and Gaz walking into the skool. I ran up to them and dragged Nny with me.

"Hey Ash,why are you here?", asked Dib

"Something really funny's gonna happen.", I smiled

As we made our way into the school, I saw Zim come in. While Dib and Gaz introduced their father to Mr Eliot, Nny and I watched from the punch bowl. Zim said something and left the Roboparents with Mrs. Bitters. Dib joined me and soon after Zim came over. Dib tried to tell his father, whom I also hate, aside from the tallest, that Zim was an alien. Of course Membrane didn't listen, for the smartest man in the world, he sure is dumb. I took a sip of the punch and almost threw up.

"OH GOD!", I gave the stuff to Nny and tried to scrub my tongue to get rid of the taste.

Zim ran away, but not without making Dib spill his punch all over himself first. I laughed along with Gaz as we all watched Zim. We saw Zim trying to talk to a kid, but he started to cry.

"That alien is using his alien powers to hurt kids! I've got to stop him!", yelled Dib.

I held him back, "First of all, he doesn't have _alien powers _and second, the kid's mom just embarrassed him, so calm down."

Nobody asked how I knew that, because I had explained to them before, if they did I would have flipped out. We all sat against the wall. Suddenly, Robomom took her punch and threw it on robodad. He slammed against the wall. We all watched as Dib poured his punch on Zim. I could hardly remember what happened next, because I was laughing so hard. Nny was trying to hold his laughter in, but failing. The next thing I new was that the windows were broken and Dib was gone.

* * *

Nny sat on the couch in Zim's base, I was on the floor. Zim was sitting close to the door. He wasn't to happy about Nny being here, but I convinced him that Nny wouldn't tell anyone that Zim was an alien.

Silence

"OH MY GOD, SAM!", I forgot about Sam, hopefully he didn't realize I was gone. Nny and Zim looked at me strangely as I jumped into the toilet (A/N: I never thought I'd wright THAT line) and came rushing back up with my laptop. When I turned it on I was very surprised, it was still connected to my universe! I quickly sent an invitation to video chat with Sam. **_Come on, come on, accept, accept, yes!_**

"HOLY SHIT WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, I CALLED YOU SO YOU COULD HELP ME CLEAN MY ROOM AND YOU WEREN'T THERE! I HAD TO DO IT BY MYSELF! I HOPE YOUR HAPPY!", Sam yelled, then he looked at the screen very closely, "Where are you?"

"Are you serious? I've been gone and you only cared about your room? By the way, you loser, I'm in a different universe...WITH ZIM AND JOHNNY!", I giggled out of pure delight.

"Are you on crack? What is wrong with you? That's so stupid, Zim and Johnny? Let me guess _your in Zim's base._", he started to laugh.

I pouted, "I AM SO IN ZIM'S FUCKING BASE YOU BASTARD!"

Zim came up to the screen, "Filthy hyoman! I am no alien! The Ash-human LIES! I AM ZIIIIIIM!"

Nny came up behind me and stared at Sam for a moment, then said, "Wow he looks like you...and what do YOU mean, stupid?"

Sam stared silently, as if trying to take it all in. He looked at Zim then at Nny, then back at me. "How much did you pay these guys?"

"You idiot."

"..."

"Would you like me to get Dib and Gaz, maybe Squee?"

"Who's Squee?"

"...fucker"

"Wait...I remember, he's the kid who almost got molested by that guy in the mall and that killer guy saved him. Yeah you told me..."

"..."

"Listen, I have to play Xbox, come over and we can play Nazi Zombies."

"Hold on", I went to the school and found Dib in detention, grabbed him, and pulled him to Zim's house. "See, it's Dib."

"Why is the Dib beast in my normal boy home!", Zim shouted/asked

"Will you hurry up and come over before I start the game without you?"

I called the Tallest.

"Ahhhhhh! It's Ash! She's going to blackmail us! NOOOOOOooooo...", then they cut the transmission

"See, the Tallest! I'm right and your wrong, so shut up and believe me."

"Fine"

"...Excuse me?"

"I said fine, I mean really, you already have your creepy powers, and for whatever reason you keep them a secret, but I kind of expected something like this was going to happen."

"You do realize that you will never see me in person anymore?"

"Thats Ok, I'll we'll talk, like, everyday on video chat...DIE ZOMBIES DIE!"

"Well bye."

I turned of my computer and looked around.

"So why did you drag me out of detention?", Dib asked

"Two reasons, just because you threw punch doesn't mean you should have detention. Also that was my cousin, and I had to prove to him that I was in this universe...he's a dick..."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE", Zim pushed Dib out of his house.

"Why did he mean stupid?", Nny asked, still mad that his question wasn't answered.

"Remember when I said in my universe we just know stuff? Well people don't think that stuff is real, it's complected alright?"

"What about your friends?"

I didn't wan tot tell Nny that I had abandoned my friends, so I told him some of my past, making sure not to lie.

"When I was about 14, I had two friends, two really, really good friends. But things happened and now I can't remember them, not even their names."

"...and your parents? Aren't you going to call them?"

"I have no idea where my dad is and...my mom...", I started to feel tears coming. That was the thing, I could hold in tears anytime EXCEPT when I talk about my mom, because all of the pain would come back and slap me in the face.

"I..um...I dunno...", tears where running down my face and I ran into the toilet and to my room.

_Dear DIE-ary,_

_Sam didn't believe me, but I forced him to. Nny asked about my friends, I told him something that I haven't thought about in 2 years. He also asked about mom...I ran. My friends, the ones when I was 14, why can't I remember them? Why am I crying? Why do I feel my mom's just going to come and hurt me again? But she can't anymore. I don't have to keep my powers a secret anymore, not here at least._

* * *

**There is 1 thing I want you to do right now,**

**REVIEW!**

**Ash's "mystery friends" are very important. They will be coming in book 2, but will be frequently talked about in this book. **

**WAIT!**

**One more thing...**

**REVIEW!**

**you know you want to.**


	5. Oh Dear God, It's Jimmy!

**Hey everyone! Right now it's 4:30am in New York. I don't have Insomnia, but my dog woke me up and once I wake up during the night, it is physically impossible to go back to sleep!**

**Sam: I like this chapter.**

**Me: You sick boy.**

**Sam: For all of you that are confused, let me explain. One day That horrible girl right there *points to me***

**Me: HEY!**

**Sam: ...started to talk about JtHM (no surprise) and told me about Jimmy. I thought it was hilarious and now he is my favorite character!**

**Me: You are going to get beat up by millions.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Oh Dear God, It's Jimmy!**

"I still can't believe that you got all the way to Mexico! I knew you would but…Mexico!", I was laughing at Zim ever since he came back from his 3 day journey. Zim and Gir got lost in the city and…well Gir didn't know the way back.

"SILENCE ASH-HOOMAN! Zim knew what he was doing!"

"Yeah, until you got lost…"

Zim growled and stormed into the living room where Gir was watching a movie, we both sat down and started to watch. It was about Earth during an alien invasion, I zoned out until Gir said, "Hurray for Earth!" Zim scolded him and said some words. I got really bored and left. Strangely, I found myself at Dib's house. I went up to his door and rang the door bell.

Dib Pov

I was in the middle of watching the newest episode of _Mysterious M_y_steries _when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened it and was kind of surprised when I saw who it was.

"Hey Dib, I got bored at Zim's house and I kind of found myself here.", said Ash

I gave her a look, she does live with the alien after all. We stood there for a while.

"Can...I come in?"

I opened the door for her. She has never been over to my house before, I had to be on guard just in case she puts a spy camera in here.

"So, what were you doing?"

"I was just watching the newest episode of Mysterious Mysteries, there doing a special on ghosts!"

"Oh, thats cool."

"Yeah! And...wait did you say it was cool?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Yes, so what?"

"Well it's just...nobody listens to me about...anything."

"Dib, I grew up completely alone. Not even my mother listened to me. So, I vowed to myself to listen to anybody, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. Your free to talk about whatever you want Dib."

I stood there, staring at Ash. Nobody ever voluntarily listened to me! I ran into the kitchen to make some popcorn, when it was done, I jumped onto the couch.

Ash Pov

Dib came back with some popcorn as soon as the show started. It was very interesting, even though I don't believe ghosts. Halfway through I started really getting into it, when Prof. Membrane walked upstairs. The thing is, I also hate this guy, not as much as the Tallest but...

"Hello son! Who's your friend?"

"I'm Ash", I could feel it, my eyes were turning red. He wasn't a good father to these kids at all. Not only that, but Dib isn't human, his father created him through _real science_. Just imagine, devoting your life to keeping the Earth safe from monsters, when your a Frankinstein yourself. I had to calm down, I would "talk" to this guy later.

"Very well, I'm off to do REAL SCIENCE!"

"By the way, my greatest hero is a homicidal maniac and I would do anything to kill people with him, just some time ago I killed a cheerleader."

"Well, have fun son!"

I couldn't believe that guy, I could kill Dib at any given moment and he didn't care. I turned to Dib, he looked a little scared.

"It's alright Dib, I won't hurt you..."

Just then Gaz walked in. She raised her head and opened one eye.

"What are you doing here?", she asked

"I got bored and came here."

"Don't you usually run of to Johnny's house?"

"Yeah...but today I wanted to come here."

She turned and walked to who-knows-where. When the show ended I turned to Dib.

"That was fun, see you later Dib!", and I ran back outside. I took a deep breath and went to find Johnny.

Meanwhile in Hell

"So...what your saying is...is that...I'm in Hell?"

"YES! YES! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! THAT JOHNNY GUY KILLED YOU AND NOW YOU. ARE. IN. HELL!"

Jimmy has been very confused ever since he died and went straight to Hell. When he went to the gate of Heaven and saw Damned Elzie, and well, he tried to rape her. That just gave him a one way ticket to Hell, he didn't even get to look around Heaven!

"What do I do here?"

I don't know! Buy a bagel!

Jimmy was talking to Satan a.k.a Senor Diablo.

"Why do you have horns?"

"I'm am the Devil, I'm not going to wear a dress!"

"Alright but..."

Jimmy didn't get to finish, Senor Diablo had sent him back to the Earth.

"Hopefully, I won't have to deal with him for a long time..."

* * *

I was walking to Johnny's house when I heard a thud in a nearby ally. I peaked in and heard a "FUCK!" I walked in slowly and out of all the things it could have been, snakes, poison, a nuclear bomb!, it...was...Jimmy. Half of his head was shaved of...and it actually looked kind of cool.

"Wha...hey...I'M ALIVE!", he shouted, "Who are you?"

"..." **_shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit..._**, "I'm...Ash"

"I'm J-"

"I KNOW, YOUR JIMMY YOU FUCKING RAPIST!", alright, I admit, I kind of over reacted there...

"...Yep..."'

"Listen I have to go to Nny's house. Today he might show me how to skin a person without getting all bloody...so...yeah."

"Wait, did you just say Nny? As in Johnny?"

"...no"

"Oh please, he won't teach you anything. Trust me, I've tried."

"He's my friend and...hey...didn't he kill you?"

"Yeah, but the devil sent me back 'cause I was annoying him...Johnny's your _friend?_"

"Yes, is there a problem with that?"

"What! How come I couldn't be his friend! He was going to teach ME! What do _you _have that I don't?"

"Well, since I'm a girl there's a lot of things I have that you don't...but that's probably not what you were talking about. Lets see...oh yeah...I DIDN'T DRAG MY OLD HIGH-SKOOL CLASSMATE BEHIND A MALL AND RAPE HER!"

"How did you know about that?"

"I'm from a different universe...I know a lot of things..."

By this time I was backing away from Jimmy. He was a disgusting person, I didn't want to be near him. He saw this and started coming closer.

"What's wrong, afraid?", he said with an evil smirk.

"No, your just so ugly it's hurting my eyes."

"Listen, why don't you come over here and we can "talk" some more?"

"I don't think s-", I fell backwards and hit my head on the sidewalk, darkness swept over me.

* * *

I woke up in Nny's basement, or what looked like it. But sadly it was not, because just then, two things happened. I looked down and found myself handcuffed to a wall, and Jimmy walked in.

"Oh, your awake, I-"

"OH MY GOD DID YOU FUCKING RAPE ME?"

"No, like I was saying-"

"Did you touch me at all?"

"Will you listen?"

"No."

"Good, now, I was going to wait to rape you until you woke up, 'cause it's just more fun! I..."

Jimmy went on and on about how he would rape me, describing in full detail. I looked up and noticed that the handcuffs were lose. After I inspected the cuffs some more I yelled,

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOCK THE FUCKING HANDCUFFS!", I shook of the handcuffs and stood up, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I WASTED ALL THAT TIME LISTENING TO YOU WHEN I COULD HAVE JUST WALKED AWAY! WAY TO WASTE MY TIME YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!"

I walked up the stairs and out of his house.

I ran all the way to Nny's house, I didn't bother knocking, I just wanted to get inside. I ran in and shut the door behind me.

"NNY!", I screeched

"What?", Nny was sitting on the couch, very angry that I interrupted him from watching T.V.

"I-I just got fucking kidnapped by JIMMY!"

Nny jumped up, "I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM! HOW CAN HE STILL BE ALIVE!"

"...yes, I'm fine thanks for asking."

Nny grabbed a knife and was about to walk out.

"Wait...don't kill him. He might be useful in the future."

"And what if he gets you again?", Nny said, annoyed that I wouldn't let him go.

"He didn't even handcuff me right, he forgot to lock them...and he only caught me because I fell and blacked out!"

"You'll be doing the world a favor if you just end him now."

"But for some reason Senor Diablo sent him back, Jimmy said it was because he annoyed him to much. So Senor Diablo might just send him back again."

"...Fine...but if he tries to come and ask me to teach him shit, I'm killing him.", Nny sat back down on the couch.

"Well, bye Nny, thanks for listening...I'll see you later..."

I walked back to Dib's house and looked around, he wasn't home, neither was Gaz. I went downstairs and found Professor Membrane.

"Hey!", I yelled.

He jumped up, "Hello girl that was my house earlier today."

"My name is Ash, I need to talk to you."

"Not now! I am about to find the cure for cancer!"

I took his beakers and threw it across the room, "You're gonna listen to me, you got that!"

He was silent.

"Does Dib have a mother?"

"No silly girl, he and Gaz were merely made out of _REAL SCIENCE! _But sadly they were both failed creations, not only is Dib's head MASSIVE, he is also INSANE! Gaz was suppose to be a girly child that would love dressing up and wearing make-up and other girl-like things but instead she has become a scary child."

"Lets get a two things Straight, first, Dib and Gaz do have their flaws, but they are not "failed creations" they have feelings to and they need father. And you...you are not a good father, you should be ashamed! Yet you only bury your head in this shit!"

I swept my hand over the lab table and let everything fall.

"Second, you will NOT ever, under any circumstance, to tell them that they are creations of science. I will tell them, because you will just do it coldly, without feeling. I will make sure that they don't slip into depression or something along those lines."

I left and went back to Zim's house, I found him covered in meat, saying something about germs...I didn't bother asking...I knew what this was about. I made my way to my room and got a suitcase out from under my bed. It was the only one I didn't unpack, for good reasons. It was filled with Invader Zim and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac things. I opened it, and I saw everything from _I Feel Sick _to some Invader Zim T-Shirts. I sighed and thought how lucky I was, and how many people could only dream of being where I was. Then I thought about my mom. I realized that if she hadn't been...well...how she was, I wouldn't be so...strong. I guess things did work out pretty well...

* * *

**Well, what do you think? WAIT don't tell me just leave a review. And yes that's right. I let Jimmy live, I have plans for him. OH! Ash is in Micah the Homicidal Maniac's story Field Trip! Go now and read...go on...**

**REVIEW!**


	6. A Split Personality

**Me- *watching "A Very Potter Musical" on YouTube***

**Sam- *poke poke* Hey...HEY!**

**Me- huh...wha...oh! HI!**

**Sam- *facepalm***

**Me- Just one thing before I start saying things that you don't really care about, as you know, Sam's favorite character is..._Jimmy_. So, if you would like his address so you can find him and beat him up-**

**Sam- WTF!**

**Me- Okaaaay...I'm just kidding.**

**Sam- COME ON! There HAS to be other Jimmy fans somewhere!**

**Me- Maybe I should lock you in a closet...wait...I ALREADY DID!**

**Sam- :(**

**Me- This whole chapter is about Ash going insane, you will see the reason for her eyes being Red when she's angry and how she has a split personality...hence the name "A Split Personality"**

**Disclaimer- WHY, WHY DON'T OWN ANYTHING!**

* * *

A Split Personality

_RUN! FASTER, HARDER, JUST RUN DAMMIT! My legs didn't take me where I wanted to go, I fell. She was laughing...she...her...my mom...with Nny. Zim, he was there behind me. Why was he laughing at me? Nny had a beer bottle...DON'T DRINK BEER! Nny looked up, his eyes were red, he was drunk...? Yes, he was drunk. Mom was telling him something, whispering to him. Zim's eyes were white...no...blue...now white again. His PAK legs grabbed me and held me up to drunk Nny. SAVE ME NNY! SAVE ME ZIM! Laughing, she was laughing...she spoke to drunk Nny. Zim's grip tightened, Nny took another swing of beer. The knife was in his hands, NO! Laughing...mom told him something, she smiled like only she can smile...evil. Nny lowered the knife to my neck. They're your friends you can't hurt them, but they can hurt you. This is a dream right? No? Yes? Maybe? Hurt the lady, hurt mom, she is no friend. My eyes, they are red now, I am in danger. But Nny wouldn't! But with the flick of his wrist he..._

I woke up breathing hard, my eyes slowly faded from red to grey. I felt sick and scared. But for some reason, today was different, I also felt weak...and I felt like I had to fight myself. The past few days...or weeks...I'm not even sure anymore, had been crazy. It was 1:00am, there was no way I could go back to sleep...it was one of my many problems. Once I wake up during the night, it was physically impossible to go back to sleep. I went to the messed up living room and sat on the couch. I didn't bother showering, I felt exhausted. So I just sat there, in my pink fluffy pants that were two sizes to big for me and a tank top, watching T.V. I played with my silver hoop earrings for a few hours until Zim came in. He took a look at me then laughed.

"WHAT!", I said, very agitated.

"Oh nothing _FILTHY HUMAN, _it's just funny seeing you...like that...", he motioned his hands toward me and the couch, "Well I'm of to Skool, today is something called..._career day, _so I wont be coming back to the base right away."

"Whatever.", I mumbled

After an hour or so I head a knock at the door, thinking it must be Nny I went to open it, and oh God was I wrong.

"Please tell me your here to kill yourself...I've got a bunch of weapons down in the lab."

"Wow this is were you live? Well, I should know because I've been following you for the past week and a half."

"Jimmy, go away..."

"Aren't you going to invite me inside?"

"Hell no."

Jimmy walked in anyway.

"By the way Ash, shouldn't you have known I was coming? I learned that your eyes flash red when there's danger."

"Oh please, don't flatter yourself, you're no danger to me. Now get out of my house before I call security."

Jimmy sat on the couch, "What security?"

"Computer, intruder alert."

Two robot claws came down and grabbed Jimmy, tossing him out the window where the gnomes would deal with him. I heard a "thump" and "AHHHH GNOMES!"

"Why do I let him live?", I wondered aloud as I sat back on the couch. Man did I feel bitchy...

I sat back on the couch, now I felt horrible, but not the sick type of horrible. I felt like...like...when Zim says something that makes me mad and I have to fight myself so my eyes don't turn red and I won't hurt him. I started shaking, the feeling was overwhelming. I buried my face in the couch pillow and screamed.

* * *

Meanwhile

Nny's Pov

For some unknown reason I was walking to Ash's house again. She relies on me to much, but I can tell she's pure human. Not like the one at the mall with Squee, and those are rare. Ash claims that she is from another universe, I didn't believe her, but she started talking about Nailbunny and the Doughboys and she asked me how it was like in Heaven and Hell, so what was I supposed to expect when she said she's from another universe? This is bad, I'm starting to like Ash, I look forward to the morning when she would come to my house, and if she didn't come after around 8:00am, I would go to hers. When I went to that little "vacation" of mine, I wanted to come back cold and unfeeling, but it was impossible. Why didn't I kill her like I did with Jimmy? Ash also talks to Meat, even though she doesn't hear him insulting her. He hated Ash ever since I got into a fight with him and Ash was over. She just picked him up and threw him into the basement. I was starting to get close to Ash's house when I saw Jimmy. He ran right past me screaming about killer gnomes...Why won't Ash let me kill him? Of course, I didn't know what to expect when I heard an earsplitting scream from inside the odd, green house.

I slowly opened the door, which Ash or the little green midget of an alien never bothered to lock. Ash was on the couch, her face buried in a pillow, I think she was crying. I awkwardly walked up to her and poked at her.

"...Ash...?"

She slowly raised her head, she was shaking badly. Her side bangs was covering her right eye...but that eye looked weird. I moved the hair out of way and jumped. It was red...one eye was grey and one was red. She was moaning about pain and voices or something, I really couldn't understand her. Her grey eye wasn't lively and twinkling with curiosity (which 98% of the time led to trouble) anymore, it was dull and hollow. The red one on the right was glowing strong. Then, Ash fainted.

* * *

5:00pm

I ended up carrying Ash to her room, which I found out, I must climb into a toilet to get there. After threatening the computer , I got to where I wanted to go. Every time she started shivering, I pulled the blanket on her, then she would start sweating, so I took it off. I looked over at her, she was shivering now, I scowled at her.

"WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND ALREADY? WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN HERE? I WAS SUPPOSED TO HIT MCMEATIES TODAY!

Ash just flinched and kept shivering. Zim came up and opened the door.

"SILENCE ASH-HUM-", Zim saw me sitting on the floor, "...GET OUT!" Zim was starting to come to me to try and push me out when he saw Ash.

"Why is she-"

"I DON'T KNOW I FOUND HER THAT WAY!"

"Computer, analysis"

"Unknown Virus.", the computer responded.

"Is there a cure?", Zim asked

"No."

"...Well I'm of to-"

"INTRUDER ALERT!"

"Who DARES to come into the property of ZIM!"

Zim ran out of the room, leaving me with Ash...God I hate that little midget, although I wouldn't mind if he destroyed the human race. Zim came marching proudly into the room with a tied up Dib.

"Let...me...go...you alien-scu-...whats with Ash?", questioned Dib

"..."

"..."

"We don't know.", I answered, and left it at that.

* * *

10:30pm

"Zim, can you untie me, Skool's tomorrow and I need to get home. I've been watching Ash for the past five and a half hours.", sleepy Dib asked

"SILENCE DIB-STINK!"

I stood up, tired of sitting. "Why the fuck am I still here, I was supposed to hit McMeaties at three...", I mumbled to myself.

Suddenly, Zim's eyes got very wide. "I...was at McMeaties at three.", he said.

"Well your lucky Ash got...all...messed up.", I said waving my hand.

Ash just stopped, then she sighed and relaxed. I walked up to her and looked at her eyes, the right one was still red, and the left one was still grey. I held her head in my hands, she stared at me blankly. "Does that always happen when you're sick?" I stared deeply into her right eye, it seemed to be staring into my soul. "What the hell is going on with you?" I looked back at her left eye, it started getting deeper and deeper until it was the same red. I moved back, I've seen Ash when she her eyes were red, and I didn't want to get in her way, so I moved to the side. She stood up and brushed herself of, then looked down.

"I'M FREE! AND-...ew, these clothes are disgusting, why does she not have anything black?", she didn't sound like herself, she sounded...evil.

"Um...?"

"And these nails! I just wan't to chew them off..."

"Ash?"

"And why the hell do I smell like Vera Wang's fucking perfume? I mean really, that shit is expensive."

"Ash! What are you talking about?", I shouted

She looked up, her red eyes glowing, "I'm not Ash", she growled, she looked back down at herself, "Wait...your tiny brain is probably confused...let me explain. I am Ash's other side."

"What do you mean _other side_?"

"Well, gosh, maybe I'd tell you if you would listen and shut the hell up!", she snapped, "I am the side of her that...is well...goth. Also, I am the feeling of hate, depression, anger, and, well, anything that isn't good. I'm like...her head voice...like the Doughboys or Nailbunny. I can only be in control like this for about 30 minuets, or else when Ash comes back, she'll pass out...I think that's it...wow right now Ash is cursing me out like there's no tomorrow...by the way Nny, and this is the only time I'm saying this so listen good, like Ash I am also a big fan."

"Ash has a head voice?", I asked, I didn't like this side of Ash, she's a bitch.

"She does now, that's why she got sick, I was fighting for half of her brain...see ya!"

"WAIT! Do you have a name?", asked Dib

"Um...not really..."

"How about bitch.", I spat.

"How about I find Devi, tie her up, and stuff her in your freezer. That way the next time you go in there, you'll see the only lady you will ever love frozen!"

The next thing I new, Ash's eyes were grey again, she stumbled back on the bed and sat down. We all stared at her, and she stared back, equally frightened.

"I am officially insane...AND SO WHAT IF I USE VERA WANG'S PERFUME YOU STUPID NAMELESS BITCH!", Ash screamed

silence

"Yeah I know..."

more silence

"It's not like they have anything good here anyway."

even MORE silence

"Are you serious, that smells like sh-"

"ASH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?", I yelled

"Didn't you hear...um...head voice girl...I am now insane...unless I'm dreaming, but I doubt that.", she sighed, "You can all go home, I have to figure this out...untie Dib."

I left, I don't remember this happening when I first talked to Nailbunny, then again, there's a lot of things I don't remember...

* * *

Ash's Pov

Everyone left, I was actually kind of scared...to be left alone with _her_.

**_Hey you stupid slut, what's going on?_**

"Why do you have to be so mean?"

**_Why do YOU have to be such a wuss...?_**

"Are you going to tell me to kill myself?"

**_Are your highlights turning blonde! Why the hell would I tell you that! If you die, I die!_**

"Do you have any talents?"

**_I can draw_**

"I can't, there are so many things I wan't to draw but I can't."

**_You can just ask me._**

"But you said you can't take over my body for over 30 minuets!"

**_Again I ask, are you going blonde! Do you know nothing about your own body!_**

"..."

**_Listen, I can't take over your body unless you get mad. Do you see how much effort it takes to do it manually? What you can do is let me take over half of your body. But only you can, not me. You can do this as long as you want to. The only time you can't control me, is when you get angry._**

"You have the same memory as me right?"

**_Yes dumb ass, I am you...sort of..._**

"I have a problem and I think you might be able to help."

**_You have a lot of problems._**

"I faintly remember two friends that I had, they were REAL friends...I'm not even sure if they were girls or boys..."

**_Oh yeah...I'm not sure, you blocked a lot of your happy memories. _**

"FORGET IT!"

**_I think I will._**

"Are you the reason for my nightmares?"

_**No**_

"..."

**_..._**

"Am I able to hear Meat now?"

_**Uh-huh**_

"...why can't Nny hear you?"

**_Because I stay inside of your mind._**

"You're not very nice are you?"

**_Leave me alone now...bitch..._**

I sat on the bed trying to soak it all in for what seemed like an hour. Is it possible...could I be insane? Why does all of the weird things happen to me? I sighed, I wish my head voice had a name...

**_Can we go to Nny's house...I wan't to ask him how come his hair isn't shaved of like it was when he got out of Hell._**

"...Okay."

* * *

Nny's house

I walked up to Nny's house in the pitch black darkness of the night. I stood in front of his door and knocked, I never rang the doorbell, mostly because I hate it when the guy deep in Nny's basement screamed. He carefully opened the door and peeked through.

"Hey Nny, my head voice has a question..."

**_Just ask him!_**

"My head voice want's to know why you hair isn't shaved of like it was when you got out of Hell."

"...It grew back.", he answered coldly

"Um...'kay...bye."

I started my walk back home, and so began my journey of insanity.

* * *

**Well? Did you love it? Hate it? Was it so bad that you wanted to rip out your eyes and throw them across the room? Just leave me a review...I NEED THEM TO SURVIVE!...Well maybe not...**


	7. Hi Skool

**Me: OH MY GOSH, I DIDN'T UPDATE FOR A WHILE!**

**Sam: Forgot?**

**Me: NO! *smacks* My laptop was broken! As soon as it was fixed I went right to work!**

**Sam- *Leaves***

**Me: -_- ...anywho, this will most likely be the ONLY chapter where it shows Ash's full Skool day, so please bare with me! I worked hard! Also, my laptop is still kind of broken, so it you see any spelling or grammer mistakes, let me know and I will try my best to fix it!**

**Disclaimer: I own everything! Ha...I wish...**

**Okay, time to get serious, I don't mind flames. If you think my story sucks...well that's your loss, not mine. BUT In this chapter there is a Homosexual guy, who WILL become one of Ash's friends. So yes, that does mean he will be in and out of this story. And if you flame me about that, I WILL HIRE SOMEBODY TO GO AFTER YOU! *cough cough* So if your not okay with that, please, just stop reading right now. Like I said before, it's your loss.**

**Hi-Skool**

2 weeks ago

"Ash! It's the Planet Jackers! They're going to throw the Earth into the Sun!" yelled Zim as he climbed into his Voot Cruiser.

"...Well, I'm going out Nny's house..."

* * *

3 days later

"GIR! I NEED MORE PIGGIES!"

"Zim, there are no more pigs.", I calmly pointed out.

Just then, Did ripped the roof in a HUGE robotic suit.

"You know what...I'm going to Nny's house."

* * *

1 week ago

"PEE-PEE, OBEY YOUR MASTER!", Zim shouted as he flew around the giant hamster.

I looked up, and decided that I would rather be at Nny's house.

* * *

Yesterday

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"DO NOT COMMAND ME! I AM ZIM!"

"IT'S A FUCKING BABY!"

"FILTHY HUMAN! THAT'S WHAT _IT _WANTS YOU TO THINK!"

Obviously, Zim was in my room spying on the baby next door. Which, as I already knew, was actually an alien...meh...I think I'll go to Nny's house.

* * *

"So, I was walking through the park, right? When out of nowhere, Jimmy pops up!"

"Wait, let me guess, you were taking the long way to...Nny's house.", Sam said with a bored expression on his face.

"NO!"

"Okay...you were coming back from Nny's house."

"...Shut up..."

"Um...listen...I have to go...um...do stuff...well, tell your headvoice girl I said hi!"

The screen went blank.

_**I don't think he had anything to do...**_

"Ya think?", I scowled.

Meanwhile

Nny's Pov

"SHE'S DRIVING ME INSANE!", Nny said as he yanked his hair.

"You mean, more insane than you already are?", Meat said, smiling on the inside

"SHUT UP MEAT!", Nny pointed an accusing finger at him, "I need to find a way to get rid of her, or at least for most of the day."

"Why, she's fun to pick a fight with."

"I already told you..."

"Is that the only reason you want her gone?", Meat questioned

"And...because, she's spending to much time in the basement, with all of the torture devices, with me. She already has a headvoice! She's becoming insane!", Nny said, twirling his knife.

"Ash was born that way."

"Born insane?"

"YES!"

"Still, she treats me like a normal person."

"Even though you aren't."

Nny ignored Meat and paced around the room. "What do 16 year old girls do...that keep them occupied...?" Nny peaked out of his window and saw little Todd Casil returning home from school. A crazy grin spread over her face as he an amazing idea came to him.

The next day (a.k.a Sunday)

Nny walked out of the door early the next morning, very excited to put his new plan into action. Nny has found that Ash will do almost anything he asks...it was like having a personal slave that fetches you brainfreezies. (A/N: ...For all you perverts out there...shut up). He knocked on the door, and to his surprise, it was Zim who answered, looking annoyed. Before he got a chance to speak, Zim spoke.

"_Nny-human_, the Ash is still _sleeping._"

Nny walked in anyway, nothing was going to ruin his master plan. He casually stepped into the toilet and pushed the first button. The elevator went into the wall and up to Ash's room. As the door opened, he saw Ash still sleeping, curled up under the blankets. He scowled and ripped them off her.

Ash's Pov

I woke up with a start. I screamed and feel off my bed. My eyes were red, as they usually were when I woke up from a nightmare. Suddenly, a cold hand yanked me up. Not knowing who it was, I naturally kicked, only to have my foot grabbed and a hand clamped tightly over my mouth.

"Will you shut up?", a familiar voice said

I slowly removed the hand from my mouth, which tasted like copper for some reason, and blinked. "Nny? What the hell are you doing? It's-", I looked at my watch, which I happen never to take off, "5:30 in the morning!"

"Hurry up and get dressed, we have something to do.", Nny left the room, leaving me there thinking what the fuck had just happened.

I didn't dare ask why. I'm not afraid of Nny...well maybe a little...but I didn't want to get him angry at me. He is my only friend, my idol, I couldn't imagine how horrible it would be if he got mad at me. After getting dressed, I went down into the kitchen feeling skeptical. Nny was pacing around, but stopped when he saw me. Before I got a chance to eat breakfast, he motioned for me to come and walked out the door. After about five minuets of walking I realized something.

"Nny, are we going to Zim Skool?"

"Not Zim Skool."

I stayed silent, trying to figure out where we were going. We passed Zim's school and walked farther down the street. I looked up ahead and saw...a... high school...? No...a _Hi Skool, _and we were heading strait for it. Nny held open the door for me and smiled a crazy smile. We walked into the main office, the lady at the desk look very tired and agitated.

"Can I help you?", she moaned, unwilling to look up from a messy pile of papers on her desk.

"Yes, I would like to enroll _her_", he pushed me forward, "in school."

A frightening look swept across my face.

**HELL NO, ASH, YOU BETTER STOP HIM! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SIT IN YOUR HEAD AND WATCH YOU DO WORK ALL DAY! **

The cranky lady adjusted her glasses, clearly she wasn't a morning person. "And are you," she looked at Nny, "her father?"

You see how that wouldn't work out right? He's about 22 and I'm 16...only a six year difference.

"Well no, are you going to put her in or not.", Nny was starting to get mad.

"You need a PARENTS permission to put this child in school.", she spat.

Child?

"Then...I'm her legal guardian...her parents are gone."

This guy was getting desperate!

"Fine, fill out these forms.", she put a packet of papers in Nny's hand.

"W-wait, don't you need PROF that he's my-hey!", Nny smacked his hand over my mouth and dragged me to the farthest chair, then shoved the papers into my hands.

He leaned close and whispered dryly into my ear, "You're. Going. To. School."

I shot him and nasty look and grabbed a pencil. Fuck. It. All.

It was really easy to fill out, last name, name...LAST NAME!

_Flashback_

_I was 6, my dad had just left. Mom just started relying on drugs and alcohol to make her feel better._

_I was at school, Mom wanted to go in and fix something on my school papers._

_"I want to take out her last name from her school papers...that or at least make sure none of the teachers call her by it.", she said, like the "perfect" women she was._

_"M'am, unless you legally removed her fathers name from her birth certificate, that I cannot make those changes.", said the lady at the desk._

_My mom had already came in 3 times before to try and make those same changes._

_The whole reason why she wanted to make sure no one would ever call me by my last name again, is because when my dad left, she wanted nothing to do with him._

_But I liked my last name, it was the only thing I had left of my father..._

I decided to skip that part, maybe she wouldn't notice...? After a half an hour of Johnny telling me to hurry up, I finally finished.

So, soon after that, the lady grabbed the paper and looked it over.

"You need your last name sweetie.", she pointed out.

"I don't like people calling me by my last name.", I said, that was the past now, it might have reminded my mom of my dad, but my last name reminded me of _her_.

The Nny and the lady gave me a weird look. "I can right that down but the school board has to know your name in case of emergencies."

I sighed in defeat, "Zelver...Z-e-l-v-e-r...and that is the last time I am ever saying it."

"Oh, Z? Well, you know, you're going to be the last one on all of the class lists.", she said

"AND this will be the last time ANYONE ever mentions it.", I growled, giving the lady a nasty look.

She flipped some pages and opened her mouth again. "...What elective will you be taking?"

**STUDIO IN ART!**

I really wanted to do art, but I couldn't draw...I'm wonderful at singing but most schools pick really bad songs...

**Do art, I will draw for you, you just have to cover your right eye with your bangs and no one will know. I need something to look forward to in the day.**

As usual, I ignored my head voice...but..."Studio in Art."

"Here's your schedule.", she handed me a white sheet of paper.

**Zelver, Ash**

**Homeroom/Social Studies...Mr Iboen**

**English Language Arts...Mrs Cooke**

**Studio in Art...Ms Att**

**Gym...Mr Ficker**

**Lunch**

**Free Period**

**Math...Mr Valbum**

**Science...Ms Heart**

I will get you Nny...even if it's the last thing I do...

"What's the free period?", I asked, trying not to look stupid...it didn't work.

"It's like recess...without the playground. Come in tomorrow, Skool starts at 8:00am, don't be late.", she sighed, looking back down at the papers.

And we walked out, the whole walk home I was thinking of ways to get back at Nny.

* * *

I woke up, very happy that I was alive in "Vasquez World"...then I realized I was forced to go to Hi-Skool...Fuck...I looked at the time, 7:00am.

**Paint your nails black, that way people won't realize that you should be a cheerleader...**

"Usually, I would ignore you but that's a really good idea."

And that's what I did. After showering, getting dressed, and other morning rituals, I made my way down into the kitchen...only to find Nny.

"I was just making sure you didn't try and get out of going to Skool.", He said, fully aware that I was giving him a death glare.

I grabbed my Skool bag that I got yesterday and walked out the door, ignoring Nny. If there was one thing I'm good at, it's holding a grudge...and blackmailing people but that's a different story. Nny smiled, and followed me out, making sure I was heading to the Skool. As I walked up the stairs and looked behind me, I saw Nny had already left. _Well gee, thanks for the support._ I sighed and walked in.

**Social Studies is first, hurry up, seeing all these people makes me want to kill someone.**

I walked into the classroom and to the teacher's desk, he must be Mr Iboen. There was only one kid sitting the back of in the class, so he noticed me right away. He was an old man who looked tough, like he just got out of the war and willing to go on and on about fascinating stories of how he kicked ass.

"Hi...I'm Ash...and-", I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"You're the new kid? You look like someone who would crack under pressure, I can use this...", He sat back down and waved his hand. "Go sit next to Lue over there

**Watch him, he looks like a nutjob.**

I nodded my head and gave him a strange look, then turned around. I wanted a seat in the back, where I wouldn't be noticed sulking. I took the seat next to that boy. He had longish, brown hair that swept over his left eye. He looked taller than me and was skinny. Lue wore a Navy blue shirt and...black skinny jeans? Man it was weird when guys wore skinny jeans...He gave me a friendly smile.

"Don't mind him, he scares everyone.", he said, he seemed friendly, but I really didn't want to make friends...for a few good reasons. 1. I live with an alien, 2. my best, and only friend is a 23 year old homicidal maniac, who frankly, I think doesn't even like me, and 3. I'm insane...that makes everything A LOT more complicated.

"Great, my first teacher is insane...this Skool ought to be interesting...", I sighed

Lue laughed, "What's your name?"

"Ash..."

"That's a cool name, hey, can I see your schedule?", he asked

I handed it over. He looked happy as he gave it back. "We have all of the same classes except for Art, So I can show you around for most of the day. He was about to say something else when the bell rang and the kids flocked into the classroom. And of course, they all noticed me. There were whispers all throughout the class.

"Settle down class, lets all say hi to Ash, she will be joining us for the rest of the year.", Said Mr Iboen.

I looked up, not expecting to hear any hellos, but I soon regretted it. I came in eye contact with one cheerleader, in uniform and everything. She seemed to be studying me. My eyes opened in shock as I realized who I was looking at.

_Flashback_

_"Look Adrianna! It's that girl that bumped into you before! She's so clueless!", **she** giggled, Nny looked down at my face then at the girl. They could talk about me all they wanted, I could care less, "Your right **Chrissy** and, like, look at that creepy guy she's with!"_

_I froze, those horrible cheerleaders dared to talk about Nny that way? MY hero? MY friend! I could feel anger taking over my body, my hands ball up into fists, my eye twitching. Nny looked down at me again and was slightly surprised how I reacted, that, and also how my eyes turned from a gray to a bloody red. I whipped around and gave those girls a death stare._

_"Oh Adrianna, somebody's mad!", the one that was supposed to be **Chrissy** said._

_I walked up to them and stopped in front of the one that was supposedly Adrianna. I didn't say anything to them, I couldn't speak, all I saw was red. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this mad, or when I lost control. I took her face and smashed it into a building. Her face was bloody and her nose was clearly broken. She was crying, and I laughed at her pain. I turned around and saw Nny, smiling, he handed me a knife, I gladly took it. I jammed the knife in her throat. Her shrill screams suddenly stopped, and when my eyes returned to normal, and I realized what I had done..._

That...that couldn't be _her_ could it? That Chrissy girl? I quickly looked down, I still wasn't sure if I could get away with murder like Nny can, even though I didn't get caught that one time...I looked back up, she was still staring at me. She had a perfect figure, wavy, brown hair that was tied up into two ponytails. She raised her hand and I started to secretly panic.

"M-Mr Iboen...", Her voice sounded innocent, "May I skip class and see the guidance couselor?".

His face was filled with pity, "Sure Chrissy, take a pass and go."

I was so relived, but...her name was Chrissy! Shit...I felt a piece of paper tickle my arm. It was a note from Lue.

_She's such a drama queen, have you've ever heard of that cheerleader Adrianna? Well she and Chrissy were "friends" and ever since Adrianna was murdered, Chrissy has been using that excuse to skip class. She's kinda happy about it though, because now she is the head cheerleader. She doesn't even go to the guidance office. By the way, do you do your own nails?_

Holy shit! It WAS her! I studied the note, it looked a little strange coming from a guy. But, like any good teen, I wrote back a well thought out message that would surly pass as a friendly note.

_Eh...I hate cheerleaders...and yes._

Lue took a look at this and smiled.

_That's a relief, I don't care for them either. So...can we be friends?_

**...say yes, that way Nny can get a free torture victim!**

Fuck you headvoice.

_Sure...but nothing more than friends, I'm not exactly looking for anything more than that right now..._

It was the truth, I just got here and all...This made Lue's smile get bigger.

_I'm not either, or at least not with you...I'm gay._

**That explains the skinny jean and interest in nails...**

_'kay_

_Wow, you still want to be friends? People are usually so homophobic...It's unimaginable how judgy people can be when right beneath their noses are murders like these, yet they don't fail to judge a book by it's cover..._

This guy was smart, not one of those...goblin things Nny always rants about...but...I'm a murderer...

_What if...the person who murdered that girl couldn't control **himself**? And was forced to watch **his** own body do it? **He** couldn't even say the things **he** wanted to say? And over time, started to like the feeling of murder because **his** greatest hero was a...homicidal maniac._

_You've got quite an imagination don't you? But I guess then I would feel sympathetic for that poor soul who clearly can't see the line between insane and normal._

**Ouch...**

Just then, the bell rang and I got up and waited for Lue to finish gathering his stuff.

ELA

"Heloooo, my children. I see we have a new face, wonderful.", Mrs Cooke said in a very hushed way.

And the class basically went like Social Studies, except Mrs Cooke was creepy in a quiet way. Oh and one more minor thing...if you corrected her, she would turn into a horrible demon-thing and send you to the underground classrooms...why me?

Art

Alone...I am totally alone...

**Technically I'm with you...not that I want to be...**

Ms Att was cool, really energetic and fun. When I introduced myself to her I expected someone weird but...she's cool. We did click right away though, and by the end of class I actually kind of liked it.

Gym

Lue's Technology class was right next to my Art class so we walked together afterwards.

"Great,", he said, "Now we have Mr Fucker..."

"Mr Ficker? What's wrong with this teacher now?", I asked, a little scared to hear the answer.

"Nothing much...just that he picks favorites and is one of the biggest homophobics I know...also Chrissy will be there for sure...she is one of the favorites..."

PANIC. Sad thing...I remembered to brings extra cloths for gym...so that mean I'll have to change...maybe now's the time to start getting my revenge on Nny. Lue noticed my silence and spoke up again,

"Your not to fond of Chrisy are you?"

"By 'not to fond of' you mean hate...well, I don't really know her..."

We reached to gym and Lue turned around and looked me in the eyes.

"Good luck changing.", he said with a serious face, then left.

**Yeah, 'cause I know what that means...**

I ignored my headvoice once again and headed to the locker rooms.

I changed quickly, but sadly Chrissy had stared at me the whole time...dear God that's creepy. I was about to walk out when Chrissy broke from the group and stopped me.

"Do I know you?", she asked, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Obviously not, judging on how this is my first day. Now, would you be so kind as to stop staring at me when I change? Thanks.", and I started to walk away when she stepped in front of me, blocking me from the door.

"Hey, lets get one thing strait, this is MY Skool, and your just the...the _new kid."_, she said with disgust

I looked her right in the eyes, and she took a step back. I decided right there, if she found out about me and told anyone about my little 'outburst', well, Nny would hear about this.

"Ya know...I don't blame you for recognizing me.", she looked shocked and I moved her aside and stepped though the door.

Lunch

Absolutely gross...I didn't even bother getting lunch...Lue was smart he brought his lunch, and gladly shared with me.

"She stared at you the whole time you were changing...? Creepy much?", Lue said

"I have an enemy now! Warm welcome huh?", I said sarcasticlly

I was starting to really like Lue.

"I have a question, if someone was to force you to go to Skool, how would you get revenge on them?", I said with an innocent face

"Depends, does this person have a weakness?"

**...Edgar!...is dead...who else..?**

"DEVI!", I shouted

"Who?"

"Oh! U-um nothing...never mind...do you have any pets?", I asked, trying to change the subject

"Yes, a little pig named Macey."

"Pig? Interesting..."

Free Period

Well, the whole time I planned my revenge under a huge tree with Lue by my side listening to his Ipod...nothing to see.

Math

The teacher was clearly Miss Bitters brother...Mr Valbum...Well Looks like I wont be learning any Math...but that was okay, it was my best subject.

_Doom doom doom..._

Science

Everything this woman says...anything we ask...any answer to a worksheet...she always finds a way to make it lead back to sexual reproduction. Ms Heart has some serious issues. But FINALLY the last bell rang, I grabbed my bag and headed for those Skool doors.

"Hey wait up!"

I turned around and saw Lue walk up next to me.

"Which way are you going?", he asked

I walked out of the Skool and took a deep breath. "It depends, sometimes I'll go home and sometimes I'll go to my friend's h-", I stopped, Nny was waiting by the flagpole in front of the Skool, looking impatient. "Actually, that's my friend now...better go."

"Um, 'kay...bye!", he said and stared walking toward...well it looked like he was going near Dib's house.

I walked up to Nny, "Why are YOU here?"

"I thought you would be excited to see me, I wanted to see if you actually went to Skool, and didn't leave or something.", He sighed, signaling that he didn't really want to be here. But that was okay, my plan of revenge had almost begun.

* * *

**Seriously, no flames about Lue, or else horrible things will happen! **


End file.
